Keeping it on the down low

October 4, 2008 femalesunited

 There is nothing wrong with being who you are and being honest with yourself and others. Knowing that, it kind of baffles me that most African-American men are on the down-low. At the same time it does not surprise me. More than anything, it heavily disappoints me. Within the Black community in the U. S., we are already put in the category of being robbers, gang bangers, and thugs. Why add more to the problem by being homosexuals, right? WRONG!!! Because of this, we have young black women ages 24-44 dying of AIDS. If that is not scary, I don’t know what is!!!! My question is, when will this be put to a stop? If honesty were number one on their priority lists, this would not be happening. Also, If we were to make them feel comfortable enough to open up, then this would not be happening. I don’t want to interrogate every brother I meet, but it seems like that is what it boils down to. For the sake our our health, the male ego needs to be swallowed and communication needs to begin. 

Here is another aspect to the down low. Okay….we live in a country that is VERY liberal. In the U.S., we have the freedom to express ourselves in any way we choose. Why can’t society in the U.S. accept people for who they are?  For instance, in Nigeria, there was a man who came out of the closet very openly and without shame. He was very involved in the church…I’m unsure of the religion.  Unfortunately, he was exiled from his own country. Since we do not have that problem here, why remain in the closet and hide from what you REALLY like. If they think the black community in the U.S. is harder on gays, Nigerians and other Africans treat them worse. All of this is just my perspective.

We even have those who are happily married, with children, successful, and with beautiful wives seeking pleasure with those outside of the marriage, who are men. Those who appear to be the most masculine seek pleasure with those of the same sex. It surprises me every time knowing that the man who appears to be the type that chases women, is actually chasing men on the low. I feel for the brothers who are fully heterosexual and have their heads in the right place, because they are being put in the category as being on the down-low (until they prove otherwise). If we allow for society to decide for us, then we as a people will NEVER get ahead. I cannot stress enough how unfair it is to the women that the HIV infection is on the rise among us, due to the fact that most brothers are to scared to admit their sexuality. Then they have the nerve to say that they are not gay. Negro please!!! You are gay, and there is nothing wrong with that!! There is a lot wrong with you lying. Don’t you have enough respect for us to tell us the truth?! You will be saving plenty of lives that way. Apparently you don’t.

Another thing, this is more than HIV.  This has to do with hiding the fact that homosexuals are here.  I’m talking about the people you love,brother, uncle, father, cousin, friend, whoever.  Again, as I emphasize, why hide who you are?  Do you not love yourself enough to express yourself?  That is what kills me.  Gays, lesbians, bisexuals can not be picked out easily.  Why?  It is because many do not fit the stereotypes several have of them.  As a professor of mine said, “I would rather be hurt by the truth, than to be killed by a lie.”

Marilyn Udeani


Entry Filed under: Uncategorized

One Comment Add your own

  • 1. Leroy Smith  |  January 3, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    I think this DL business as been blown out of proportion. So long as a brotha has not been in jail or had his mum as a sole parent, it is not an issue. Also I think the US tend to blame HIV on the black men. Not sure if it is cos most black men who originate from West Africa (ie West Indians and US blacks) are pre disposed to sickle cell anaemia and therefore have a high libido. Something needs to be done to recify this.

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